do you ever get that feeling like you can't trust anyone or yourself enough to open up anymore? i know who i love, and i can tell them that i love them. i speak and i laugh, but i'm so wary of everything now that i'm almost secretive. granted, i was always secretive--that's why my friend calls me the little  treasure box of secrets. i lost who i was, and now i'm just building another person not even remotely close to the original me. and i'm nothing more than this gentle, soft-spoken shell of a person who no one really gets to know unless they take the time to unravel me.

A Romantic Compendium?

Oh you.


Why we could never be in a relationship? If I were to like you, I'd be just as foolish as Isabella was to romanticize Heathcliff. You are fickle and don't even appreciate my friendship, ever. You treat me nothing more than a cesspool for you to vent your emotions and ideas upon. I'm not your muse; I am your harlot.

He may be a gangly Linton, but he's someone who has the capacity to cherish.

After spending a few days to myself, I feel like all my residual angst is, in fact, gone. The future is nothing more than a big blank to me, and part of me is nervous, most of me optimistic. I'm scared as hell, but I'm lucid and patient now.

LIES :'(

(10:29:26 PM) Kevin Belleville: you are hipster
(10:29:29 PM) Kevin Belleville: i no longer know you

I did feel residual angsty today, but here I am. Sane. Alive. YAY.

The slim prospect of seeing you tomorrow just makes me feel confused and CATATONIC. You leave me a wreck because you remind me of the residual angst that I left behind along with the neurotic, depressing ending of my junior year. You are a reminder of how dependent I was after my period of meaningless cutting and crying. She's going to be there too. Part of me doesn't want to go anywhere tomorrow anymore. Can you just stay an illusion? God fucking dammit.

Pictures of Canada/NY. Taken with my dad's awesomepossum Nikon.

This is a pro-shot of my brother, Topher, at the San Francisco Airport. He has hilarious facial expressions. 

A view from my uncle's computer repair shop. Toronto is such an urban place to live!

 I don't know why, but this picture suddenly makes me extremely happy. The colors of the flowers are so vivid and bright, and the lighting is perfect! I don't like doctoring my photos very much because 1) I am lazy 2) photoshopping a picture takes away the natural gorgeous colors of a setting like this.

 Casa Loma Castle, run by the Kiwanis Club. Don't you just love how rustic the edifice is and how AZURE the sky is??

Chinatown!

Toronto boat tour. I love the lighting!

A picture of two strangers (though not to each other!) CAN'T YOU JUST FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION?

Royal Ontario Museum. History geek's. Dream. Come. TRUE. (Although I'm not really a history geek. I'm just naturally good with the humanities.)

A view of Toronto from the top of the CN Tower (which has a top that is 530 metres above the ground).

Two giraffes at the Toronto Zoo whom I have named Daisy and Gatsby.

A view of Niagara Falls at night. This shot was so difficult to take, especially with a zoom lens. 4/5 of my pictures turned out blurry.

So yep, for more photos, go look at my Facebook, which I'm starting to irrationally hate. I bet that's how you got here. Through my Good Reads profile, through my Twitter page. Yep. I should like, make a Flickr account.